BREAKING: NHL Loses Keys, No Season Allowed

Guy Pearce and I are both displeased.  Though I don’t think for the same reason.

Your humble blogger is back after a somewhat prolonged absence.

I’m going to have to ask for another somewhat prolonged absence.

Why?  Well, I’m in mourning.  And not because of anything political, mind you – in fact, this is the first non-political post I’ve ever done.  It feels very weird, but I just need to get this off my chest, so I hope you’ll bear with me.

I’m in mourning because the National Hockey League just instituted its third lockout in under two decades.  That means, depending how quickly things get resolved, we could miss some of this year’s training camp, or potentially an entire season.  An entire season without hockey.  Most Americans might get emotional about a whole season without football – that’s football Americain, in case I actually found any international readers – but not me.  This is about as bad as it gets for a fairly new hockey fan like me.

Now what am I going to do through October and November, when the presidential election is probably going to make me want to tear my hair out?  (Metaphorically speaking, that is.)  I was going to settle back in a chair, toss on my personalized Capitals jersey, and cleanse my mind and soul by watching a bunch of guys trash talk, beat the crud out of each other, and try to eke out controversial, last-minute wins.  Now it appears I’ll just have to watch politicians do that.  That’s not fun.  That’s just sad.

What’s all this lockout business about?  Like literally everything else in the world, it’s about money.  Hockey is a big business now – it makes billions off TV deals and ticket prices have gone through the roof.  The owners, who got big concessions from the players during the last lockout in 2004, want to get more.  The players aren’t happy about that.  So, both sides appear to have reached the conclusion that the best way to make sure the other side doesn’t get more money is simply not to play.  On the one hand, it’s a logically sound conclusion.  On the other hand…well, I think these guys can sum it up better than I can.

So come on, NHL.  Figure it out, and now.  Or I’m gonna have to sic these guys on you.  (Some NSFW language there.  And punching.  Lots of punching.)


  1. […]  For everyone who has been crying into their Molson over the NHL lockout – hey, I’m right there with you – and hasn’t been keeping up with the news, here’s the quote that has people really […]

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